Blind Date

L.A. California. 6:30pm. Middle of December. Woman sits center stage. She is dressed in slightly conservative J. Crew and Bananna Republic clothing.
Enter Left stage Brad Sirello.
Brad (suavely) Are you Jenny?
Jenny (softly) Yes. I’m guessing you’re Brad?
Brad: (quickly) Sorry I’m late.
Jenny: (stiffly) That’s okay.
Brad:Have you ordered yet?
Jenny: No.
Brad: Good. I’m ready to eat. Are you?
Jenny: Yeah.
Brad: (shifts in his seat) So do you like California?
Jenny: Yeah. I just moved here from Wisconsin.
Brad: I’ve lived here all my life. I live in L. A. I could tell you weren’t from Cali from the way you dress. Cali people always dress to impress.
Jenny:(Slightly offended) Really?
Brad: Yeah, women here dress more sexy. Men dress better too. (Glances at the mirror behind him) As you can tell.
Jenny: (sarcastically) Uh huh.
Brad: I love Cali, Man. It’s awesome. Lotta hot women you know what I’m sayin’?
Jenny (bored) I see.
Brad. I like to look nice for the ladies so I only wear dress pants and nice button down shirts.
Jenny (smiles wryly) Nice. I–
Brad: (interrupting her) You like my cologne? It’s Abecrombie.”
Jenny: I know.
Brad: (tensely) “So you like it?”
Jenny:(coughing) Yeah.
Brad: You know, you’re really pretty. You look like that chick...what’s her name? Meg...Meg something.
Jenny(skeptically) Meg Ryan?
Brad: That’s the one!
Jenny: That’s funny because not only do I have long dark brown hair and green eyes but I’m also thirty years old.
Brad: Well you remind me of her anyway. I would always look at her and think she’d be pretty if she would just wear some makeup and take off some of her clothes.
Jenny: (eying him critically) You did? (To Waiter)Thank you.
Brad: (taking gulp of his Corona) So why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Jenny: I haven’t met anyone who was worthwhile yet.
Brad: Until tonight.
Jenny: We’ll have to see about that.
Brad: What’s that supposed to mean?
Jenny: We’ll see.
Brad: So what makes a guy worth your while? You know, does he have to have a nice tan and a ripped body...like me?
Jenny: I really could not care less about a stupid tan and to be very honest with you Brad, I’m not into the ripped body thing. I mean, I would prefer a man that was in shape to some extent but–
Brad: So you like pale weaklings.
Jenny: No.
Brad: You know what I think? I think you need a real man. No more of those Midwestern doughboys.
Jenny: What makes you a “real” man?”
Brad: Look at me! All man here! (Rolls up a sleeve of his striped button down.) Check out my arms!
(Jenny nods)
Brad: That’s all you have to say? Wait ‘til tonight when we get into the juccuzi.
Jenny (tensely) What Juccuzi?
Brad: The one at my cousin’s house. I’m sure he won’t mind
Jenny: I didn’t bring a bathing suit.
Brad: (raising his eyebrows) No bathing suit? I like the sound of that.
Jenny: (looking around for the waiter) You would.
Brad:What’s that supposed to mean?
Jenny: Nothing.
Brad: So tell me, where’s the freakiest place you ever fucked?
Jenny: Excuse me?
Brad: I was just curious, you–
Jenny (interrupting him) Umm...I don’t know. Why?
Brad: I was just trying to get somethin’ out of you girl! God!
(Awkward silence)
Brad:The best time was when I did it in an elevator going to the second floor of a bar.”
Jenny: (heaves a sigh) Oh god.
Brad: What? You’ve done better than that? Hey, you like it rough or–
Jenny: Listen, can we change the topic here?
Brad: You uncomfortable?
Jenny: To be very honest with you, yes. I am. I mean, I hardly know you and here you are--"
Brad: (interupts her) Okay then.
Jenny: So where do you work?
Brad: Well I wanna get into the music business, you know, be like Sugar Ray. But right now I’m kinda taking a break between jobs.
Jenny: (eyebrows raised) So you’re basically...unemployed.
Brad: I wouldn’t put it that way. I’m getting a job soon.
Jenny: Where?
Brad: At...at Twilight Entertainment. I’m...ahhh... gonna be a dancer. I’ll give you free preview when we get back to the house.
Jenny: (disgusted) No thanks.
Brad: You know I like girls like you. You put up a little fight. I like the challenge.
Jenny: (slowly) Okay.
Brad:You look pale. How often do you go to the tanning booth?
Jenny: Not often.
Brad: I go twice a week.”
Jenny: (with another sigh) Anyway!
Brad: You know, you have some pretty lips. How about a little kiss?
Jenny: I’d rather not.
Brad: Com’on!
Jenny: No.
Brad: (pointing) See that girl in the blue top behind you?
Jenny(turning slowly) Uh huh.
Brad: She’s a real hoe. Once she fucked some guy just for movie tickets.
Jenny(tuning back gingerly) Did she?
Brad: She wants me really bad but I can do much better than that trash.
Jenny: (not convinced) Right. So, why don’t YOU have a girlfriend?
Brad: ‘Cause I gotta play the field you know what I’m sayin? I need a down ass chick.
Jenny:So basically you just...sleep around.
Brad: No! I don’t do that shit. I told you I like girls like you who put up a fight, but give it up in the end.
Jenny: Exactly what makes you think for one minute that I’m giving ANYTHING up?
Brad: (smiles) Just wait ‘til we get to the Jacuzzi.
Jenny: You know what? I don’t think I’m gonna wait that long. I think I’m ––”
Brad: (beaming with delight)You wanna go to the Jacuzzi now?
Jenny. No. (standing up, her face getting pink with rage) I...I want to go home now. I just don’t think we were meant to be in the same room together let alone BE together…. We’re complete opposites.
BRAD: (getting up to stop her) “Com’on baby, opposites attract!”
JENNY: (pushing past him) Not in this case... No.
Exit JENNY.
BRAD approaches WOMAN IN BLUE at the bar
BRAD: Hey baby, I got a boner the size of California in collision course with your pussy, wanna ride?
WOMAN IN BLUE: (shouting) Get the fuck AWAY from me you asshole! Who the fuck ARE you?!

Fade to black.